


Between Two Legs

by totallynotnatalie



Category: GWA - Fandom, Original Work, gonewildaudio - Fandom
Genre: Adventures of Pete and Pete References, F/M, Humor, Internal Monologue, Oral Sex, Thoughts While Down There, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie
Summary: This is comedy script detailing a guy's realistic-but-humorous thoughts while going down on a girl.
Relationships: M4F - Relationship





	Between Two Legs

**Author's Note:**

> This is a script for the GWA subreddits. Please contact me before posting a recording of this work anywhere else.
> 
> This content is intended for 18+ audiences only.
> 
> Feel free to modify the script to meet your needs.

Ahh...pussy. My old friend. I know thee well.

Actually, maybe not that well. This is the clit, right? At least I think so?

I probably shouldn't google 'clitoris' while going down on her. That probably wouldn't be great for mood.

Although, under her boobs would be a perfect place to rest a phone. I bet I could get through an entire Rick and Morty episode while getting her off. Hashtag-multitasking Hashtag-it's-disturbing-that-I-now-think-in-hashtags.

Maybe I can become the inventor of bras with built-in tablet support. This is brilliant.

I'll have to remember to tell her about it when my face isn't in her pussy.

Oh right, her! Is she enjoying this? Ugh, it's impossible to get a good look at her face from here.

I think she likes it? Babe, come on. Give me a moan or something?

I could try that whole write the alphabet with your tongue trick. A-B-C-D...

I wonder if she can even feel the difference?

Babe, I am trying to communicate to you telepathically. Do you have a favorite letter?

Note: Your answer should only apply to oral sex. I do not otherwise care about your feelings on the letter H.

Come on, just give me like a thumbs up or something.

Well, she moaned. That's probably good right?

Maybe it would help if I touched her boobs. I think I can reach her boobs from here.

Nope, I can't. I'm just kind of awkwardly clawing at her rib cage. Um, well, moving on. Try to play it smooth.

Where was I? Oh, right the alphabet. Let's see. E-F-G.

Hehe, G. It's like G-spot. Oh, hey. Maybe I should try that too.

If I can just adjust my elbow, grrr...

There we go. Hmmm.....she's so wet. Oh, it's so good.

Although, this would be less painful if I didn't have an erection right now. There is nowhere for my dick to go. Why don't they make mattresses with cock burrows?

Wait, that's an even idea better than under boobs tablets! I can see the infomercial now. 'Is your dick bent out of shape from too much pussy eating? Then we have the bed for you!'

Hahaha.....Wait, don't actually laugh. You probably shouldn't laugh directly into her vagina. That's just not going to be comfortable for anybody.

Maybe she wants a little more fingering. Oh, she's twitching. I bet she likes that.

Wait, no, dude, you need to keep licking too. Come on, you can do both at once.

There we go. I guess that pat your head while rubbing your stomach trick is good for something.

Oh, she's getting close now.

(pause)

...Hm, you know, Bruce Willis really was the perfect voice for Groot. That man is such an acting talent.

Huh, now that I think about it, Bruce Springsteen and Bruce Willis kind of look alike. 

(pause)

Wait, I wonder if that's true of all Bruces. Do they all look alike? Do they all have that same nose?

Ugh, I can't think of anybody I know named Bruce. Dammit, I need to test this theory. 

Oh wait, there is that one Monty Python sketch where everybody is named Bruce to avoid confusion. I guess that counts? I'll have to watch it later to test this theory. 

I wonder if she'll want to watch it with me?

'Hey babe, it's me trying to communicate telepathically again. Do you want to watch Monty Python later? Moan once for yes'.

Well, she's shaking at least. I guess I'm better at pleasuring her than I am at telepathy.

.....That's probably a good thing. Both for her and humanity in general.

Oh, she's so hot when she squirms.

Come on, baby. Cum for me. I know you're close.

Hmmm, almost there.

Oh, there we go-

OW. She is crushing my head with her thighs. OW, That's probably good right? As long as she doesn't actually crush it. Is she cumming? I can no longer hear anything through her legs.

Wait. Oh yep, she's definitely cumming.

Oh god, it's as hot a fuck. She's amazing.

(sighs) Wow.

(pauses)

Wow.

Okay, she's done? I can get up now.

Mhmm...That was so good. Oh, I should ask her if she's up for anything else tonight. She's already so wet.

Mhmmm.

Wait, didn't I want to ask her something?

Oh yeah, I wanted to see if she's interested in rewatching Monty Python.

Actually, that also sounds like a fun night! Well, a different kind of fun, but still great.

Ok, let me think. How do I frame this?

Let's see

(aloud to her) 'Hey Babe, would you be interested in either more sex and/or rewatching Monty Python?

Both?

*laughing*

*kiss* Good. Sounds like a perfect night to me too.


End file.
